Generational Effects on Gender among Afghan-Canadians

Gender disparities have long been documented in sociological research. Rates of pay, household chores, and unpaid work hours are just a few examples of areas where gender differences persist. But how are these disparities bred within the home and what are their effects? Specifically, I wondered how they were bred in a home similar to the one I was raised in: the Afghan-Canadian household. The main aim of my project was to consider how gender, culture, and coming-of-age intersect.

I conducted seven interviews with Afghan women and men aged 18 to 22. The interviews told a story about Afghans’ unique experiences in Canada, from which three central themes emerged. Firstly, I found that significant generational shifts have occurred in the norms of late-adolescent Afghan-Canadians versus their parents. Secondly, I illustrate how explicit gendered expectations contributed to discrepancies in the household responsibilities of Afghan boys and girls. Thirdly, I outline the different coping mechanisms and emotional skills that developed from these gendered expectations.

Changing Generations

            Evident in all seven interviews was a shift from traditional to modern cultural ideas within Afghan households. The shift was seemingly solidified through the influence of Canadian culture and access to formal education. Both male and female participants gave similar responses, calling for changes in what they observed to be patriarchal regimes.

Ariana, a 21-year-old female university student, contrasted older generational expectations against a new generation of Afghans: “Fairness, equality, equity. Women should not always have to bear the physical tasks of cleaning the house and men should not always have to be the breadwinners, they should give some of that spotlight and some of that experience to the women as well, in this new generation.”

Daoud, an 18-year-old male high school senior, outlined what he had traditionally seen in Afghan households and contrasted it against his hopes for his future family: “What I see is the woman cleans, cooks, does the dishes, and all that stuff, and the man works really hard and supports the family. That’s what I see in my perspective. It has been like this for a long time. But at the same time what I think is that both parents should work together […] when I grow up and I have a wife, I’m not going to sit around and make my wife do all of that stuff […] we’ll help each other.”

Overall, participants demonstrated strong desires to move away from conservative principles, instead valuing more flexible expressions of gender for both men and women.

Gendered Upbringings

When asked about their roles within the home, female participants detailed similar experiences regarding gendered expectations in their upbringings and responsibilities. Expected behaviours within the household were accompanied by limitations to their freedoms.

Ariana described her role in the home, growing up. “I was like a maid. I was there cleaning and helping my mom. I would be mopping the floor, jarooing (sweeping) […] but now when I see my brothers they don’t do any of that crap that I did.” When discussing taking care of guests who visit the home, Ariana continued, “Whenever it happens, the girls are called to do the dishes!”

Another female participant, Basima, described the extensive rules she was instructed to follow throughout her formative years, “Don’t have friends, don’t talk to guys […] don’t wear that clothing at this particular area around this time, stuff like, call me every minute, you have a curfew, very authoritarian, very strict.”

Enervated by double standards, women were keen on sharing the dismay they felt at the hands of sexist expectations within the Afghan household. Policing of clothing, schedules, and relationships were just a few examples of ways female participants felt hindered in their freedom and growth.

Gendered Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Skills

Although overlaps in coping mechanisms for personal problems did occur between male and female participants, there were noticeable gendered differences. Women’s coping mechanisms followed more of a social route with mention of venting to friends, turning to religion, and writing in journals. Men’s coping mechanisms revolved around isolation and escaping their problems through physical activity and drug use.

Interviews were quite evocative. Women, like Farida, detailed how they would handle a difficult situation “by talking to someone […] I talk to people, especially my family.” Men’s accounts, on the other hand, were quite different. Daoud, for example, mentioned that he would: “just accept [failures].” He continued, “In life, there should be failures. Without failures, you can’t keep moving forward. I just accept it […] I don’t really deal with [the failure] anymore […] I just push it aside, keep moving forward […] I go to the gym four times a week […] at the gym I just forget about everything. The gym is like my place for forgetting everything. Literally everything.”

Throughout the interviews, women’s ancillaries of emotional skills were generally more robust, and they demonstrated more nuanced understandings of their emotions. Women were able to draw conclusions regarding their emotional skills in ways that connected trauma and gendered upbringings to the skills they managed to develop. Contrastingly, men spoke little of more sensitive approaches to their problems, and instead tackled their problems with activity-based coping mechanisms. The men felt that emotional approaches were unhelpful to their mental health and sought refuge in physical fitness and drugs.

A New Generation of Afghans

The central themes identified in this study reveal stark differences between Afghan men and women. Women’s treatment emerges as a fundamental conflict among Afghan-Canadians as patriarchal values carried over from conservative Afghanistan come into conflict with Western values of gender equality. In recognizing this conflict, Afghan women’s gendered upbringings force them to confront their emotional responses. Over time, they begin to make sense of their dual identities.

To preserve their individual identities and seek opportunities in the North-American context in ways that are outside of their parents’ wishes, female participants had to participate in nuanced self-reflections. By comparison, men’s experiences with external limitations through reprimand and policing in the household were few and far between. Both the men and women of this study acknowledged these differences and agreed that improvements were needed. This current generation of Afghan-Canadians appear to be embarking on a journey of self-discovery as they navigate the influence of gender, culture, history, and migration on their socialization.

Yagana Samim is an Afghan-Canadian student at the University of Toronto currently pursuing a specialist in Criminology and two minors in Women and Gender Studies and Sociology. She will continue conducting research in the area of gender disparities and deviant sexuality in a Sociology Master’s in the Fall of 2019.